TANTRIC LOVE-POSTURE

Tantric love-posture for channeling and circulating the energies of ecstasy.

APHRODISIACS

"The use of aphrodisiacs should be learned from a study of the science of medicine, from the religious texts, from those who are learned in the art of magic, and from confidential relatives. No means should be tried that are doubtful in their effects, or that are likely to cause injury to the body, that involve causing the death of animals, and that bring a person into contact with impure things."

- KAMA SUTRA

Many aphrodisiacs are listed in Eastern sexological works. Some of them have merely a placebo effect, but others are actually effective on the physical level. Many foods can be prepared in such a way as to release vitalizing forces. Healthy food and a natural lifestyle are by far the most  effective aphrodisiacs. Fresh air, water, and fire all have the power to stimulate sexuality, as does the harmonious contact of the senses with objects of enjoyment. An often quoted Oriental saying is, "The most natural aphrodisiac for a man is a beautiful woman, passionately asking to be enjoyed."

Fasting can have an aphrodisiacal effect on the body, provided it is practiced in moderation. Yoga and breathing exercises can greatly help to stimulate the natural vitality of the body; if these are combined with meditation, so that the mind is freed of anxiety, then there will rarely be any need for physical aphrodisiacs. A healthy mind and a creative imagination together produce a "climate" in which all things are possible.

A noble couple in a version of the Indrani
Position with various aphrodisiacs by
their side. A Rajasthani miniature
painting, circa 1800.

Aphrodisiacs are normally included as topics in works pertaining to the Art of Love. Generally it is taught that a substance that resembles the sexual organs is likely to act as an aphrodisiac if correctly prepared. This concept is known as the Doctrine of Signatures and evolved from the observation that herbs, plants, or other substances with a particular appearance, color, shape, or smell were effective in curing ailments linked by similar characteristics. An example of this is the Indian mango, which resembles the kidneys in shape and is an effective natural cure for some cases of kidney disease.

Correct preparation is very important when using any aphrodisiac. A specialized branch of Indian medicine is devoted to this study. Aphrodisiacs may be broadly categorized under three main headings: the animal, the vegetable, and the mineral. These categories are kept separate or combined to produce the whole range of aphrodisiacs that are suited to the condition and temperament of the individual.

Animal substances include eggs (of various birds), different kinds of milk (but especially goat milk), wild fowl, sparrows, peacocks, the flesh of vigorous animals, mussels, oysters, sea horses, fish eggs (caviar), especially vigorous fish (salmon), and animal parts such as deer horn, musk pods, ambergris from whales, rhinoceros horn, and a whole range of animal sex organs. For these products to be effective, they must come from animals in the wild, hunted in the right season, and when the animals are in good health.

Vegetable aphrodisiacs are even more numerous, and their preparation requires even more care. Among those included in traditional Eastern works are: ginger root, fennel, ginseng root, mushrooms, black beans, particular kinds of onions, gourds, carrots, wild asparagus, wild rhubarb, figs, licorice, almonds, pistachio nuts, pine kernels, sesame seeds, cinnamon bark, nutmeg, saffron, black pepper, raisins, walnuts, honey (from particular flowers), glutinous millet, tree bark, orange seeds, aconite root, opium husks, damiana, datura, marijuana, as well as fortified "wines" made from grapes, pomegranates, wild flowers, and herbs. As is the case with animal substances, these should be of high quality and gathered in the correct season.

Marijuana; the secretions from the female
plant have strong aphrodisiacal properties.

Mineral aphrodisiacs listed in Eastern medical works include mineral pitch ("Shilajeet"), stalactites, mercury, sulphur, mica, arsenic, conch shell, cowries, pearls, calcinated gold, silver, copper, iron, amber, coral, emerald, sapphire, ruby, and diamond. The preparation of mineral aphrodisiacs is extremely complex and a science in itself, known in India as Rasayana.

The ginseng root has long been valued as
a powerful aphrodisiac.

Ginseng has been used for thousands of years for its regenerative and aphrodisiac properties. Recently it has been tested by Western science and shown to have a real effect. The red ginseng root gives the best results, but it should not be taken continually. A forty-day course of ginseng extract (or powdered root), followed by three months without its use, is a typical prescription that works in most cases. The exact dose is determined according to the strength of the individual root and the physical condition of the person.

An aphrodisiac tea can be made from a combination of select spices and dried ginseng root. Equal amounts of cinnamon bark and green cardamom should be pounded together with pestle and mortar. An amount of fresh ginger root equal to their combined volume should be added and crushed. Then about nine black peppercorns, two or three cloves, some ground nutmeg (not too much), and a pinch of saffron should be added. The whole mixture should then be boiled gently for nine minutes. When the decoction is complete, it should be strained and a tea should be made from it in the normal way, but with the addition of crushed ginseng root. The tea should be allowed to stand for some time and can be served either hot or cold, with or without milk. Honey can be added as a pleasant and stimulative sweetener.

In the Orient deer's antlers are valued for
their aphrodisiacal properties

There are many aphrodisiacs that can be applied directly to the sexual organs. They are effective mainly through their heating or cooling qualities. Sandalwood oil mixed with a little crushed ginger and cinnamon is one of the most effective of these recipes. Oil of cloves diluted with a base oil, or camphor and oil in combination, can produce invigorating results. However, considerable care should be taken in using such preparations. Particularly dangerous are aphrodisiacs that work through irritation of the sex organs: "Spanish fly" or cantharides, the powder of blister beetles or insects, has been recorded as causing many casualties by this means.  

It is worth repeating that a healthy lifestyle is the most consistent of all aphrodisiacs. It really is preferable not to have to rely on external aids for a satisfactory sex life. Then the use of aphrodisiacs on very special occasions can make a real difference.

There is a limit to what aphrodisiacal ointments can do. At the most they can stretch one's endurance for a bit. If you apply an aphrodisiac to a naturally powerful instrument, it is as if a gifted and well-prepared candidate should take a ginseng stimulant just before his examination. He will feel doubly fresh and alert, and his dissertation will pour out on its own accord. On the other hand, a lover whose implement is naturally feeble will no more be fortified by aphrodisiacs or ointments than an ignorant and untalented candidate would be helped by drugs, even if he consumes whole pounds of ginseng before his examination."
- JOU PU TUAN

Source:

Sexual Secrets - Alchemy of Ecstasy

ANAL SEX

The anus has a beauty and sensitivity of its own. No part of the human body should be considered unclean. It is an Eastern custom to wash the anus with cold water as part of the daily ablutions. Tantra teaches control of the anal sphincter muscles, indicating that sexual energy can be conserved in this way. When this muscle is contracted, the sexual center is stimulated and the sex glands produce hormones. Anal intercourse is not recommended by Tantric teachers because, among other things, it tends to stretch and weaken the sphincter muscles, producing energy loss.

Anal penetration disturbs the balance of vital forces in the body. The downward moving vital principle, one of the five Prana vitalities, is reversed. This can create digestive problems, leading to constipation, irregularity, and, ultimately, cancer of the rectum.

As an organ of excretion, the anus and rectal passage always contain traces of bacterial waste. A person is in danger of infection through anal insertion and can also suffer severe tissue damage or soreness. If normal sex is engaged in afterward, the dangerous possibility exists that bacteria will be transferred from the anus to the innermost parts of the Yoni of woman.

In ancient India, anal sex with a woman was called lower union. It was not considered normal. Some medical works mention it briefly, claiming it sometimes has the effect of an enema and at other times causes constipation. The Chinese tradition takes a similar position, and though anal sex with women was practiced on occasion, it was uncommon until the period of Moslem influence.

Arabian couple practicing anal sex
in imitation of animals. From a
Persian miniature painting of the
nineteenth century.

Anal sex with another man, or sodomy, has already been dealt with in the section on homosexuality. It was an essential ingredient of Moslem culture, despite the fact that Muhammad condemned the practice. Christianity always linked the Devil to anality, and he was commonly depicted as showing his behind. One of the accusations leveled by the Church against the Knights Templar was that they had "anal knowledge of each other."

During a public inquiry into the un-Christian activities of the Templars, it was asserted that a member of the mystic society, after having been made a prisoner by the Turks, had introduced anal-oriented practices into the cult.

Arabian couple practicing anal sex. From a
Persian miniature painting, early
nineteenth century.

Anal sex is increasingly common today, partly because of the lack of understanding of its ramifications and partly because of the contemporary tendency to do everything that was once considered taboo. It is natural for someone who desires to become sexually liberated to explore the possibilities of new types of experience. A definite "no" is a closed door, which can block the inner potential for self-knowledge. If anal sex is considered relevant to a heterosexual relationship, it is the responsibility of the man to understand the physiological and psychological nature of this practice. A man should never demand this kind of surrendering from a woman.

A premeditated act and a spontaneous one have very different psychic effects and penetration can happen in a totally organic way, almost by mistake. In such circumstances, pleasure can be experienced by both partners because of mutual openness.

At the location similar to the prostate gland in men, women have a similar but smaller gland, the cervix, the "flower" of the uterus. A thin membrane separates it from the anal passage. Conceivably an unusual placement of the cervix may be a physiological reason why certain women prefer anal to vaginal sex. We mention here an interesting extract from a Ming dynasty erotic novel, which introduces this aspect of heterosexual sex rather beautifully:

"Porphyry loved one form of sport above all others. After joining with the man in various modes of love-making, she desired him to pluck the flower of her bottom, while she herself touched the innermost flower of her womb with her delicate fingers. He told her, therefore, to raise herself on hands and legs, like a horse, and then he thrust himself into the flower of her posterior. She, reaching down with her hands, played with the heart of her other flower."

Some women find it necessary to offer every bodily orifice to their lovers as a symbol of their complete surrender and commitment. This desire, however, should not be exploited by a man. A preference for regular practice of anal intercourse indicates the desire for domination and power over the partner and perhaps the inability to love. According to the Yogic medical viewpoint, the body of woman has three main openings: the mouth, the anus, and the Yoni. Among these, the mouth is created for things to enter in and for sounds to come out, the anus is for excretions to come out. 

Anal sex can be frightening, painful, and degrading for a woman. The "surrendering" aspect and the fear factor are intimately linked. Surrendering induces a sense of timelessness and fear releases strong emotional feelings. These factors together produce psychological and physiological changes; fear releases particular body secretions, can "put the ego in its place," and can even induce the Kundalini-energy to enter and rise up the Central Pathway. But putting another person in a state of fear is a grave Karmic responsibility and not something to be taken lightly. Though no act is inherently "right" or "wrong," the mental attitude and quality of consciousness must be considered before endorsing anal sex as a new variation of  lovemaking. The majority of women do not enjoy this practice, and those who are addicted to it may well have cause for regret later on in life. Enjoyment of anal sex may be brief, but the effects are lasting. Rather than turning to anal sex to add variation to one's love life, it is far better to perfect the techniques of transcendence. Tantra offers numerous exciting ways to stimulate and explore sexuality without the need for anal sex. The Yoni offers every facility for self-liberation.  

"Away with sodomy, and all will perfect be; For making-love, use a woman's parts, By far they are the best. Two males beneath the clothes, Are greater trouble than they're worth."

- SHAYKH NAFZAWI

Source:

Sexual Secrets - Alchemy of Ecstasy

BROTHERHOOD OF MAN

There is a natural feeling of brotherhood between men. Authentic commitment and love can exist between men without any need for sexual contact. Tantra tells of the need for feelings of brotherhood, as such feelings help men to share their problems and shared experiences lead to understanding. 

Nothing binds men more effectively than shared participation in dynamic, fiery types of activity. In the past, men hunted, worked, and made war together and many brotherhoods were created as part of these activities. Nowadays there is a decreasing emphasis on physical activity, though men still participate in aggressive sports and cooperate in business activities. However, it seems that there are fewer opportunities for a man to externalize or transform sexual energy on a physical level.

Freud's term libido refers to emotional cravings that prompt any specific human (and especially sexual) activity. The libido is the sex drive, the "fire coursing through the blood." Throughout history it has had the power to bind men. When the potent fire of Kundalini-energy is  untransmuted, it is externalized as aggression. Sex and aggression often manifest themselves in the formation of brotherhoods between men. Many primitive people use sexual bonds between men to establish commitment and reinforce reliability. This is done through rites of initiation, sometimes centered around group or selective homosexual activity. Among the Pueblo Indians of New Mexico, for example, initiation rites revolve around masturbation of a single selected male who is held in great honor. Circumcision rites of some African tribes are closely linked to concepts of brotherhood.

The result of strenuous physical exertion is always watery; perspiration pours from all parts of the body. Love-making also produces watery secretions. The symbolism of fire and water permeates occult traditions and is an integral part of rites of initiation leading to the establishment of brotherhoods. Even war has the potential for the exchange of fire and water: fiery aggression creates sweat, blood, and, often enough, tears. Wars often evolve from the need to express aggression externally. When the libido of men is high and is not channeled through transcendental sex practices, men create excuses to go to war. Emotional cravings have to be expressed; they cannot be bottled up forever. In the past, many brotherhoods were formed around shared participation in battle, the real causes of which were often forgotten. Islam is one of the more recent cultures that revolves around the desire to externalize sexual energy. The brotherhood of Islam lost track of the original emotional, mystic craving of its principal prophet, Muhammad. Over the course of history its women came to bear the burden. Though the brotherhood created by Islam transformed the face of the globe, it is still unable to recognize the sexual basis of its own phenomenon. Islam can only cease to be a religion of force and evolve into a truly transcendental experience if it breaks away from its long-established custom of relegating women to a subservient role.

Tantric brotherhood implies shared beliefs and shared emotional longings. The desire to be liberated from the endless round of births and deaths, to be freed from suffering and the fear of death, is the germinal requirement for true Tantric brotherhood in this Dark Age of materialism. Shared participation in Hatha Yoga, Tantric meditation, and ritual can lay the ground for a Tantric brotherhood, working as an all-powerful transformative energy in the New Age.

"There is a brotherhood of Tantrics waiting to be brought to life. This brotherhood will awaken as the end of the Kali Age approaches. Recognizing the potent Female Principle of life, the Brotherhood of Tantra will transform this polluted world. Then at the ecstatic moment when one Age transforms into the next, those faithful followers of the selfless path will reach their goal."

- KAULA TANTRA

MASTURBATION (Self-Gratification)

A solitary woman fondles her Jade
Gateway. Shunga painting on paper,
Meiji, Japan, circa late eighteenth
century.

Until recently, open discussion of masturbation was taboo. Masturbation was referred to euphemistically as self-abuse, playing with oneself, the solitary vice, or self-gratification. Many are the children who have endured lectures about the "sinful dangers" of this practice. Such warnings, at an early and impressionable age, often cause neuroses later on in life.

The atmosphere of "sin" or "guilt" surrounding the act of masturbation can produce a kind of vicarious thrill or rush, rather like that felt in committing a punishable crime. Fear can be immediately stimulating, but its long-term effect is debilitating.

During the last several years, there has been a tendency to bring sexual matters out into the open. Masturbation has emerged as a topic that people are willing to discuss. An analysis of popular sex-oriented magazines indicates a groundswell of interest in this particular aspect of sexuality. The once "solitary vice" has been elevated into a "therapy," a "variation of love-making" and an important part of the repertoire of sexually liberated lovers. What do Eastern teachings have to say about this volatile subject?

Sexual fantasy or dream, depicted as
arising from the throat region. From a
Japanese print of the eighteenth century.

First of all, a clear distinction is drawn between male and female masturbation. Second, mutual masturbation between a man and a woman is not considered masturbation per se. Since it is not looked on as an end in itself, it is categorized as foreplay. A different view is taken of mutual masturbation between two men or two women. We shall examine each of these situations thoroughly.

Both Taoist and Tantric teachings agree that "semen is a man's most precious possession." It is not to be carelessly wasted. The medical texts state that ejaculation of this vital essence by a male who has not yet reached maturity is potentially detrimental to his health, since important body elements are dispersed. The Charaka Samhita says, "If a young boy, whose body elements are not yet fully formed, practices masturbation, he is liable to lose vitality. If he continues to do so, then his body will become weakened and his internal organs damaged. This is particularly true up to the age of sixteen years, by which time the male body is completely formed."

Masturbation involves the physical, emotional, and mental aspects of an individual. If practiced as a solitary exercise, the breath and imagination perform a major role. Though self-gratification can be momentarily stimulating, there is no long-term benefit to a man. His physical reserves become depleted without an opportunity for replenishment; that is, there is no opportunity for "compensating" by absorbing vital fluids or energies from a partner. Any ecstasies are short-lived without the support of a shared experience and an exchange of energies. Solitary sexual practices produce a particular kind of psychic field that remains fixed within the sensation realm of the sexual center, without either ascent or transformation of the raw creative energy.

"Semen gets diminished by old age, anxiety, diseases, strain of labor, fasting, excessive sexual intercourse, and masturbation. By wasting, fear, suspicion, grief, seeing deformities of others, by lack of response in a woman, by not bestowing sufficient thought on the subject of sex, and by abstention from sex, a man is rendered incapable of mating." [CHARAKA SAMHITA]

Many factors may stimulate the desire for masturbation. As the sexual center becomes activated, a young boy is inclined to explore his sexuality by playing with his Lingam; in this way, he becomes familiar with the workings of his body. This form of sexual exploration is harmless, provided the urge to ejaculate can be controlled. Auto erotism without ejaculation can help a young man gain control of his sexual energy and introduce an awareness of the interrelationship of breath, thought, and the emission of semen. This helps strengthen sexual confidence, which is a major ingredient of a healthful sex life. Familiarization with the stages of arousal prior to ejaculation can teach a man how to gain control of his sexuality; he is then adequately prepared for transcendental heterosexual experiences in the Taoist or Tantric tradition. Retention of breath and visualization of the sex energy circulating and nourishing the body are the key to the control of ejaculation.

Eastern teachings unanimously advise against the practice of male masturbation with ejaculation. The texts advise that a man living segregated from women should practice Yogic postures, breathing, and meditation, so as to internally transform his sexual energy. The Yoga head stand, deep breathing, visualization of the Subtle Body, and repetition of Mantras all help the male sublimate his sexual energy.

The medical treatises cite instances when masturbation with ejaculation is condoned. For instance, an unhealthy diet can create "devitalized" semen, which cannot be successfully sublimated. If sublimation is not possible, then it is better to ejaculate than to "hoard morbidified life-essence." Another medical reason for ejaculation is if the Subtle Pathways of the body have become "blocked"; a symptom of this is extreme lethargy. The Taoist and Tantric view is that only lustrous, healthy semen is fit for internalization, and that this is built up by Yogic diet and lifestyle.

A man who is not having sex may find that sexual pressures build up to the point where physical release is advisable. It is certainly unnatural for a young man to suppress his sexuality; if he cannot find release through the Yogic disciplines of sublimation and transformation, or through heterosexual contact, then masturbation with ejaculation is the final resort. In the ancient world, men married early and the Act of Love was cultivated almost from the onset of puberty. Masturbation was therefore unnecessary. The physical symptoms normally associated with "growing up," such as pimples, boils, and skin eruptions, are an indication of sex energy striving for release. The alchemical view of this is that the vital "mercuric" energy (the semen) is polarized into a "sulphurous" substance that the body rejects through the skin. For those who are unable to practice the Yogic teachings of sublimation and transformation, or who are unwilling to radically change their lifestyle, heterosexual love-making with emission of semen is far better than release through masturbation. If sex with a woman is not possible and sublimation is impracticable, then masturbation with ejaculation may be necessary. It should not become a habit, however. Healthy semen contains vital nutrients, trace elements, amino acids, and vitamins in purified form. Sperm should never be carelessly discarded because it is the living essence, containing all the physical and spiritual attributes of man.

Ejaculated sperm can live outside the body for quite some time. It should not be treated disdainfully. Tantras state that sperm should be honored; there is a psycho-physical link between a man and his sperm long after ejaculation. The Kaulavali Tantra advises that"sperm ejaculated through masturbation should be positively endowed by one's mental attitude to it. Sperm should be ritually returned to the elements of its origin, or used for a magical purpose such as the empowering of amulets." The term "elements of its origin" means the earth, water, fire, or air. Ancient pagan customs such as the scattering of semen on fields, under trees, into waters, or into the sacrificial fire, or of rubbing preparations mixed with semen onto the body, echo this view.

Chart showing the stages leading to male orgasm.
There is a steep increase in sexual excitement during
early foreplay, which levels off and then rises as
ejaculation is approached.

Chart showing the stages leading to female
orgasm. Excitement is steady, rising to a peak
during climax, and creating a series of peak
experience waves over subsequent orgasms.

The eastern teachings regard female masturbation as a phenomenon totally different in its effects from male masturbation with ejaculation. The primary difference is woman's "unlimited supply of Yin-essence" as compared to man's finite Yang-essence. The female body is replenished and its vital elements balanced after the completion of each lunar cycle. In the course of a month, a woman is revitalized and nourished by her natural harmony with the forces of the moon.

 Woman embodies all the senses in their exalted form and narcissism is natural to her. The Nine Spirits of Woman are nourished by the release of erotic energy through the female body. Auto erotism in woman increases the flow of Yin-essence and helps her gain control over sexual reflexes. Women have many effective methods of self-gratification; for example, simple rocking movements stimulate the sexual center. Some women can reach orgasm by gently caressing parts of their body, the breasts and Yoni in particular. Deep rhythmic breathing can bring a woman to orgasm, as can erotic fantasy. The Yoni is the gateway to her Temple; masturbation is a way for woman to nourish her own eroticism and learn to please the deities that dwell within her.

"The male is moved by the life-force of the female, and his Jade Stalk is excited to action. The woman is moved by the life-force of the man, and the liquid of her Secret Cavern begins to flow.These are the arousals caused by the natural qualities of the male and female forces of the cosmos. They are something that cannot be duplicated by human Will alone." [ISHIMPO]

Once the Yin-essence is awakened in the body of woman, it needs appeasement. A woman requires longer than a man to become sexually excited; yet once stimulated, she can have many orgasms in succession. The mental attitude is most important. Bliss waves can be built up within the body of woman, carrying her Transcendental Spirit to new heights. The peaks of ecstasy are more easily scaled in the body of woman than in man. The chart above illustrates the multiple orgasmic nature of woman and shows a comparison with male orgasm.

Solitary satisfaction for a woman does not require the introduction of a Lingam substitute into the Yoni. Ancient Indian texts suggest that natural organic substances such as fruits and vegetables are better than fabricated substitutes; one text recommends the stalk of a plant, which, when soaked in hot water, swells up and takes on agreeable warmth and texture. In China and Japan a variety of sexual aids were developed for female self-gratification. We describe these fully in the section entitled "Sexual Aids."

Mutual masturbation and love-play.
A Chinese painting of the
nineteenth century.

The importance of the mental attitude toward masturbation cannot be overstressed. Guilt must not enter the exploration of this form of sexuality. Remember to circulate and dedicate the energy to a higher purpose than mere sensualism. Offer your pleasure to Lord Shiva, visualized in the mind's eye. Offer the Bliss-waves of orgasm to feed the gods and goddesses within the body. Mentally resolve a desire for transformation and spiritualization. Let the sex energy ascend to the sublime. This strengthens the Subtle Body at the same time that it vitalizes the physical body.

Fantasy is an important element of masturbation. Perverse fantasies can damage the psyche and induce complex psychological problems. Positive creative fantasy should be cultivated during masturbation; a woman can visualize Shiva the Yogic ideal, or hold in mind a "view" of herself making love with an idealization of her Lover-archetype. 

Chinese lady using an artificial Lingam affixed to her foot.
From a Chinese print of the Ming dynasty.

Traditionally in Japan and China, a wife would have a replica of her husband's Lingam made of tortoise shell, horn, or wood, with his name beautifully inscribed on it. Such an object was greatly cared for and kept in a specially made box. The woman used this object, known as Harigata, for masturbation or for sex with co-wives of the household, the principal wife taking the male role. Thus during the prolonged absence of the husband, a means of self-satisfaction was available that incorporated his actual form. If you insert anything into the Yoni, first "empower" it by meditating upon it as the ever-erect Shiva Lingam, the cosmic symbol of transcendence. Mutual masturbation between women can be used to potentize the vital essence. Sexuality is enhanced, provided the mental attitude is nourishing rather than vampiristic. When the Yin-essence is circulated and exchanged between women, there is a doubling of potency, a feminization that manifests itself throughout the body. The women involved become more generous, selfless, and compassionate, and their bodies take on enhanced female qualities. Between women there is a natural intimacy, a sharing of innermost feelings, rarely found among men. Taoist texts state that when women share, their "complexion becomes very clear, shining like the full moon, and their eyes sparkle brightly." A Tantric saying declares, "Soft things become softer when brought together, as in women; hard things blunt each other, as with men."

Mutual masturbation between boys or men is associated with initiation rites in certain primitive tribal societies. These rites of initiation are believed efficacious in establishing patriarchal unity. Aggression is commonly played out, accompanied by forceful verbalization or chanting. A Karmic bond, or sense of sharing, is brought about. In various African tribes mutual masturbation is allowed between boys as part of their puberty rites. However, it is condemned after adolescence. Secret societies are sometimes founded around masturbatory rites celebrating the power of death. None of the higher Eastern mystic teachings requires such an activity, since the real transcendental bond is with the female force, the Shakti, which is considered paramount. Though it is true that instances of mutual masturbation between males occur in the context of magical occultism, these are of a very low order and are associated with black-magic rites performed for selfish rather than transcendental ends.

What has been referred to as mutual masturbation in a heterosexual situation is not really masturbation at all, but foreplay, leading up to penetration and mutual orgasm. Often is it linked to oral sex, in which case the emission of vital essence should be absorbed by the partner's mouth. When the male Yang-essence is absorbed within the body of a woman, it is transformed into Yin. When the female Yin-essence is absorbed by the man, it is transformed into potentized Yang. Mutual masturbation in a heterosexual context is one of the most important ways of harmonizing mood and body essences. 

Various modern so-called Tantric works deal almost exclusively with learning to prolong orgasm through disciplined masturbation. The idea is to masturbate until reaching the moment of orgasm, and then exercise self-control by "holding back." Ancient Tantric texts do not in any way support this view. Orgasm control is best achieved within the context of a couple, as part of the Battle of Love. Breathing exercises, Yoga postures, and meditation all serve to transcend the limitations of an overabundance of sexuality, without the need to cultivate masturbation as an outlet.

"Do not expel your semen needlessly. Do not expel your semen forcefully, as if dashing something down from the heights. You'll upset the five main bodily organs, injure the life-energy  channels, and give rise to every kind of ailment as a consequence." [ISHIMPO]

NINE (9) MOVEMENTS OF THE MAN

The Kama Sutra enumerates nine distinct categories of male sexual movements during love-making. This ninefold division, along with the tradition of Nine Kinds of Sexual Union (according to sexual sizes), is a constant feature of metaphysical systemization (see "The Yang Number" for a detailed description of the subtle meaning of the number nine and its multiples). The Nine Movements of the Man are:

MOVING FORWARD
The Lingam is moved forward, directly into the Yoni.

CHURNING
The Lingam is held by the hand and turned and churned around in the Yoni.

PIERCING
The Yoni is lowered, and the upper part of it is then struck with the Lingam.

RUBBING
This is the same action as Piercing, done to the lower part of the Yoni.

GIVING A BLOW
The Lingam is removed some distance from the Yoni and then brought back to forcibly strike it. This is known as Giving a Blow.

BLOW OF A B O AR
This is when only one part of the Yoni is rubbed by the Lingam.

SPORTING OF A SPARROW
This is when the Lingam is deep in the Yoni and is moved up and down repeatedly, without being taken out. This takes place at the approach to climax and should be a playful movement.

PRESSING
This is when the Lingam is inside the Yoni and is pressed deep within.

TOGETHER PRESSING
This is when the man and woman press the Lingam and Yoni alternately, without any withdrawal. It creates a rapid climax.

When a woman is acting the part of a man, she can enact his nine movements. The classical texts state that a man should always make a point of pressing or focusing on those parts of her body on which she turns her eye. A man should learn from the actions and sounds of a woman during love-making so that he becomes aware of her disposition and the way she best likes to be enjoyed. The Kama Sutra states that when a woman is enjoying lovemaking, she shows increased willingness to join the Lingam and Yoni as close together as possible.

Taoist texts list ten different ways for a woman to act during love-making. We enumerate these in the section entitled "Secrets of the Plain Girl," under the subhead "Ten Ways of Moving." This type of categorization is  helpful, since it indicates the order in which passion is physically manifested. Tantric texts attach great significance to stages of sexual excitement, seeing them as reflections of a greater cosmology, the order of the evolution of universes. The Hevajra Tantra, for example, states, "From the union of Lingam and Yoni, the earth element arises out of contact with the quality of hardness. From the flow of secretions, the water element is evoked by the friction of love-making. The air element arises from the movements of lovers approaching ecstasy, and the space element corresponds to the all-pervading Bliss."

"One of the man's chief duties is to learn to withhold himself as much as possible and at the same time to hasten the enjoyment of his partner. The desires of the woman are cooler and slower to rouse than those of the man; she is not easily satisfied by a single act of lovemaking. Her slower excitement demands prolonged embraces, and if these are denied her, then she often feels irritated. By the second love-act the passions of a woman become thoroughly aroused and she has a full orgasm; then she can be said to be contented. This  state of  affairs is reversed in the case of a man, who approaches the first act burning with love-heat, which cools during the second, often leaving him languid and disinclined for a third."
ANANGA RANGA

NINE (9) KINDS OF SEXUAL UNION

Hindu love manuals explain how to use positions to adjust for genital size. Here, by leaning back and opening wide, the woman's Yoni more easily accommodates her lover's Lingam. From a miniature painting in the collection of the King of Nepal, circa 1830.

The combinations of sizes of male and female sexual organs produce nine different possibilities or kinds of union. As the Kama Sutra declares, "There are three equal unions between persons of corresponding dimensions, and there are six unequal unions when the dimensions of the sex organs do not correspond. This makes nine in total."

As we shall see later, the number nine has a special esoteric significance. It occurs in the Nine Apertures of the Body and in several important metaphysical concepts. Though the classification of sexual sizes is a difficult topic to generalize about, there seems to be a great deal of wisdom in the ancient Indian system. The Kama Sutra states, "In Equal Unions, there are never any problems. In Unequal Unions, positions should be used which create balance."

"When the proportions of both lovers are alike and equal, then satisfaction is easy to achieve. The greatest happiness consists in the correspondence of dimensions. Discomfort increases with the ratio of difference."
ANANGA RANGA

THREE TYPES OF YONI

"The best among women is one who comes from a spiritual family, is endowed with auspicious signs, and freed from the Four Defects of the genital organs; namely, not having the menstrual flow, not of an unpleasant smell, not being diseased, and when filled with sexual desire, not knowing any shame or restraint with the Yogic partner."
CHAKRASAMVARA TANTRA

The Kama Sutra and the Ananga Ranga both list three types of female sex organs according to their dimensions. These are:

THE DEER
This is the Yoni that does not exceed six finger-breadths (about five inches) in depth. Usually a woman with such a Yoni has a soft and girlish body, well proportioned with good breasts, and solid hips. She eats moderately and is addicted to the pleasures of lovemaking. Her mind is very active and her Yoni juice has the pleasant perfume of the lotus-flower. She is known as being of small dimension.
 

THE MARE
This is the Yoni that does not exceed nine finger-breadths (about seven inches) in depth. Usually this woman's body is delicate, her breasts and hips are broad, and her umbilical region is raised. She has well-proportioned hands and feet, a long neck, and a retreating forehead. Her throat, eyes, and mouth are broad and her eyes are very beautiful. She is very versatile, affectionate, and graceful, and likes good living and lots of rest. She does not easily come to her climax and her love juice is perfumed like the lotus. She is known as being of middle dimension.
 

THE ELEPHANT
This is the Yoni that is about twelve finger-breadths (about ten inches) in depth. This woman usually has large breasts, a broad face, and fairly short limbs. She is gluttonous and eats noisily; her voice is hard and harsh. Such a woman is never easily satisfied, but her love juice is very abundant and smells rather like the secretions from elephants in rut. She is known as being of large dimension.

"Goodness in the female sex organ depends not on its type or position, but in how it is used. High, Middle, and Low all have desirable qualities of their own, so long as one knows how to use them. A woman of the Middle type is suited to love-making throughout the year and in every position."
SU-NU-MIAO-LUN

THREE TYPES OF LINGAM

The three (3) types of male sexual organs: the HARE, the BULL, and the HORSE

"Men are born with as large a variety of Weapons as of faces. It all depends on Nature. A considerable number of short men have long Weapons, while a similar number of tall men have short Weapons. Thin, weak men often have thick, hard Weapons; tall, well-built men often have small, weak ones."
SU-NU-MIAO-LUN

The Kama Sutra and the Ananga Ranga both list three types of male sex organs, according to their dimensions. They are:

THE HARE
This is the Lingam that does not exceed six finger-breadths (about five inches) when fully erected. Usually a man with a Lingam of this type is short of stature but well proportioned and of a quiet disposition. His semen is usually sweetish. He is known as being of small dimension.

THE BULL
This is the Lingam that does not exceed nine finger-breadths (about seven inches) when fully erected. A man with such a Lingam is usually robust, with a high forehead, large eyes, and a restless temperament. He is ever-ready to make love and is known as being of middle dimension.

THE HORSE
This is the Lingam that is about twelve finger-breadths (about ten inches) in length when erected. The owner of such an implement is usually tall, large-framed, muscular, and has a deep voice. His nature is gluttonous, covetous, passionate, reckless, and lazy. He walks slowly and cares little for love-making, unless suddenly overcome by desire. His semen is copious and usually rather salty. He is known as being of large dimension.

"There is a saying that a man whose Lingam is very long will always be poor. One whose Lingam is very thick will always be in distress. A man who has a thin and lean one will be lucky, and a person whose Lingam is short may well become a king."
ANANGA RANGA

LIBIDO

Libido refers to a person's sex drive or desire for sexual activity. The desire for sex is an aspect of a person's sexuality, but varies enormously from one person to another, and it also varies depending on circumstances at a particular time. Sex drive has usually biological, psychological, and social components. Biologically, levels of hormones such as testosterone are believed to affect sex drive; social factors, such as work and family, also have an impact; as do internal psychological factors, like personality and stress. Sex drive may be affected by medical conditions, medications, lifestyle and relationship issues. A person who has extremely frequent or a suddenly increased sex drive may be experiencing hypersexuality, but there is no measure of what is a healthy level for sex.

A person may have a desire for sex but not have the opportunity to act on that desire, or may on personal, moral or religious reasons refrain from acting on the urge. Psychologically, a person's urge can be repressed or sublimated. On the other hand, a person can engage in sexual activity without an actual desire for it. Males reach the peak of their sex drive in their teens, while women reach it in their thirties.

HISTORY OF THE CONCEPT
Sigmund Freud popularized the term and defined libido as the instinct energy or force, contained in what Freud called the id, the largely unconscious structure of the psyche. Building on the work of Karl Abraham, Freud developed the idea of a series of developmental phases in which the libido fixates on different erogenous zones—first in the oral stage (exemplified by an infant's pleasure in nursing), then in the anal stage (exemplified by a toddler's pleasure in controlling his or her bowels), then in the phallic stage, through a latency stage in which the libido is dormant, to its reemergence at puberty in the genital stage.[citation needed] Freud pointed out that these libidinal drives can conflict with the conventions of civilized behavior, represented in the psyche by the superego. It is this need to conform to society and control the libido that leads to tension and disturbance in the individual, prompting the use of ego defenses to dissipate the psychic energy of these unmet and mostly unconscious needs into other forms. Excessive use of ego defenses results in neurosis. A primary goal of psychoanalysis is to bring the drives of the id into consciousness, allowing them to be met directly and thus reducing the patient's reliance on ego defenses.

 Freud viewed libido as passing through a series of developmental stages within the individual. Failure to adequately adapt to the demands of these different stages could result in libidinal energy becoming 'dammed up' or fixated in these stages, producing certain pathological character traits in adulthood. Thus the psychopathologized individual for Freud was an immature individual, and the goal of psychoanalysis was to bring these fixations to conscious awareness so that the libido energy would be freed up and available for conscious use in some sort of constructive sublimation.

According to Swiss psychiatrist Carl Gustav Jung, the libido is identified as psychic energy. Duality (opposition) that creates the energy (or libido) of the psyche, which Jung asserts expresses itself only through symbols: "It is the energy that manifests itself in the life process and is perceived subjectively as striving and desire." (Ellenberger, 697)

Defined more narrowly, libido also refers to an individual's urge to engage in sexual activity. In this sense, the antonym of libido is destrudo.

More recently, philosopher and psychologist James Giles has argued that human sexual desire is neither a biological instinct nor something learned or constructed by culture. According to Giles' theory of sexual desire it is an existential need based on the awareness of having a gender. Having a gender creates a sense of incompleteness. We then seek to fill this incompleteness through the baring and caressing of the desired gender.

Relational Issues
The desire for sex is an important motivator for the formation and maintenance of intimate relationships in both men and women, and a lack or loss of sexual desire can have an adverse impact on a relationship. Unresolved relationship problems, such as a lack or loss of sexual desire for the partner, may cause a decrease in sexual desire, which may itself cause problems in the relationship. Infidelity may be an indication of a general desire for sex, though not with the primary partner. Problems can arise from the loss of sexual desire in general or for the partner or a lack of connection with the partner, or poor communication of sexual needs and preferences.

Psychological Factors
Psychological factors can reduce the desire for sex. These factors can include lack of privacy and/or intimacy, stress or fatigue, distraction or depression. Environmental stress, such as prolonged exposure to elevated sound levels or bright light, can also affect libido. Other causes include experience of sexual abuse, assault, trauma, or neglect, body image issues and sexual performance anxiety.

Some people have suggested that contraception may influence the desire for sex by women, by decreasing the anxiety level from an unexpected pregnancy.

Latent homosexuality may also be a cause for lack of libido in men.


Physical Factors
Physical factors that can affect libido include: endocrine issues such as hypothyroidism, levels of available testosterone in the bloodstream of both women and men, the effect of certain prescription medications (for example flutamide), various lifestyle factors and the attractiveness and biological fitness of one's partner.  Inborn lack of sexual desire, often observed in asexual people, can also be considered a physical factor.


Lifestyle
Being very underweight or malnourished can cause a low libido due to disruptions in normal hormonal levels. There is also evidence to support that specific foods have an effect on libido.

Anemia is particularly a cause of lack of libido in women due to the loss of iron during the period.

Smoking, alcohol abuse and drug abuse may also cause disruptions in the hormonal balances and therefore leads to a decreased libido. However, specialists suggest that several lifestyle changes such as drinking milk, exercising, quitting smoking, lower consumption of alcohol or using prescription drugs may help increase one's sexual desire. Moreover, learning stress management techniques can be helpful for individuals who experience libido impairment due to a stressful life.

Aphrodisiacs are known to increase individuals' libido due to either their chemical composition or their consistency.


Medications
Reduced libido is also often iatrogenic and can be caused by many medications, such as hormonal contraception, SSRIs and other antidepressants, antipsychotics, opioids and beta blockers. In some cases iatrogenic impotence or other sexual dysfunction can be permanent, as in post-SSRI sexual dysfunction (PSSD).

Testosterone is one of the hormones controlling libido in human beings. Emerging research is showing that hormonal contraception methods like "the pill" (which rely on estrogen and progesterone together) are causing low libido in females by elevating levels of sex hormone binding globulin (SHBG). SHBG binds to sex hormones, including testosterone, rendering them unavailable. Research is showing that even after ending a hormonal contraceptive method, SHBG levels remain elevated and no reliable data exists to predict when this phenomenon will diminish.


Testosterone and Menstrual Cycle
A woman's desire for sex is correlated to her menstrual cycle, with many women experiencing a heightened sexual desire in the several days immediately before ovulation.

This cycle has been associated with changes in a woman's testosterone levels during the menstrual cycle. According to Gabrielle Lichterman, testosterone levels have a direct impact on a woman's interest in sex. According to her, testosterone levels rise gradually from about the 24th day of a woman's menstrual cycle until ovulation on about the 14th day of the next cycle, and during this period the woman's desire for sex increase consistently. The 13th day is generally the day with the highest testosterone levels. In the week following ovulation, the testosterone level is the lowest and as a result women will experience less interest in sex.

Also, during the week following ovulation, progesterone levels increase, resulting in a woman experiencing difficulty achieving orgasm. Although the last days of the menstrual cycle are marked by a constant testosterone level, women's libido may boost as a result of the thickening of the uterine lining which stimulates nerve endings and makes a woman feel aroused. Also, during these days, estrogen levels also decline, resulting in a decrease of natural lubrication.

Although some specialists disagree with this theory, menopause is still considered by the majority a factor that can cause decreased sex desire in women. The levels of estrogen decrease at menopause and this usually causes a lower interest in sex and vaginal dryness which makes intercourse painful. Also, the levels of testosterone increase at menopause and this is why some women may experience a contrary effect, of an increased libido.


Sexual Desire Disorders
There is no measure of what is a healthy level for sex desire. Some people want to have sex every day, or more than once a day; others once a year or not at all. However, a person who lacks a desire for sexual activity for some period of time may be experiencing a hypoactive sexual desire disorder or may be asexual. A sexual desire disorder is more common in women, but rare in men. A survey conducted in 2011 found that 81.7% of married men are frustrated, dissatisfied, and want to improve their sex life. Erectile dysfunction is more common in men and may be a cause for the lack of sexual desire, but with which it should not be confused. Moreover, specialists have brought to attention that libido impairment may not even occur in cases of men with erectile dysfunction.[citation needed] However, men can also experience a decrease in their libido as they age.

The American Medical Association has estimated that several million US women suffer from a female sexual arousal disorder, though arousal is not at all synonymous with desire, so this finding is of limited relevance to the discussion of libido. Some specialists claim that women may experience low libido due to some hormonal abnormalities such as lack of luteinising hormone or androgenic hormones, although these theories are still controversial. Also, women commonly lack sexual desire in the period immediately after giving birth. Moreover, any condition affecting the genital area can make women reject the idea of having intercourse. It has been estimated that half of women experience different health problems in the area of the vagina and vulva, such as thinning, tightening, dryness or atrophy. Frustration may appear as a result of these issues and because many of them lead to painful sexual intercourse, many women prefer not having sex at all. Surgery or major health conditions such as arthritis, cancer, diabetes, high blood pressure, coronary artery disease or infertility may have the same effect in women. Common surgeries that affect the hormonal levels in women include hysterectomies.



Medical Journal Link:
http://psychology.concordia.ca/fac/pfaus/Pfaus-Scepkowski-%282005%29-Curr-Sex-Health-Rep.pdf

Source:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Libido

CYBERSEX: State of “Affairs” in Sexual Cyber Space

It is well-known that while such technologies of freedom were first promoted by the state for politico-economic or military purposes, the widespread usage of the French MINITEL and the American ARPANET, both credited as forerunners of the Internet, was to a great extent facilitated by none other than their appropriation for purposes of erotic self-expression and interpersonal sexual contact by the population (Castells 343-345). It has been estimated that already more than 250 million people have joined the e-population which, growing by more than 10 million every month, is expected to multiply to one billion by the year 2005. The significant fact here is that as fast as this demography expands, a new sexual revolution  is also raging on the virtual frontier of the internet, where personal anonymity and global access provide seemingly unlimited opportunities for sexual exploration. Erotic uses of the email, on-line chat rooms, interactive webcams, or the newest haptic (sense of touch) technologies have created a kaleidoscope of  choices and channels through which our deepest wishes, our darkest desires, and our universal need to connect with others are constantly negotiated and played out in this virtual space, transcending boundaries  of gender, age, nation, physical form, etc. Youths in particular are seeking whatever sexual knowledge or experiences that have long been denied them in the “real” world, and the internet proves to be a powerful tool for them to experiment with their dreams and desires.

Many have defined “cyber sex” as a combination of communication and masturbation, as one net citizen puts it, “nothing more than phone sex typed out on the internet,” nothing more than a selfish act of egoistic gratification. Yet cyber sex has never been limited to such rudimentary acts that quench simple biological urges. Sex in cyber space has always included various forms of flirtation, role-playing, fantasy enactment, etc., which may or may not culminate in heterosexual cyber sex but definitely calls for intense interaction among the parties involved. And while the combination of the internet with the cell phone has made it all the more convenient for the individual to establish as well as manage multiple relationships, webcams and broadband services have helped make cyber sex an increasingly stimulating activity that increasingly approximates real-life relationships. Yet, sex in cyber space is not necessarily a paired activity, as evidenced by erotic activities in the multi-user dungeons/domains (better known as MUDs). Nor is it a simple imagined experience. Recent cyber sex toys promise to enrich cyber sexual experience by letting the person on the other end stimulate some of their net-mate's body parts. Special cyber-sex commodities—including the “virtual sex machine” that allows a remote party to manipulate sex toys attached to the home party, or the “all body cyber sex suit” with multiple sensation sensors, or the computer controlled life-like sex dolls with special motor-driven organs—are all creating new dimensions for cyber sex that may transform our commonsensical understanding of the erotic act. The sensorial channel can feel surfaces, edges, and even temperatures; and promises to compliment the sound and feedback modalities already widely used in current virtual simulations. Even though these devices may not have been created particularly with cyber sex in mind, most likely they will be adapted for erotic purposes as soon as they become available.

One important force that has made cyber sex all the more palatable to the young net citizens is the fast changing sexual attitudes of today’s youths. A survey done in 2000 reveals that 60% of Taiwanese college co-eds get on the internet mainly because they want to make friends, in particular, to develop net romances. About 40% of them actively pursue one-night stands on the net—among them, women number just as many as if not more than men. About 24% express interest in conducting or having already conducted the increasingly popular form of compensated companionships (or what is better known in Japan as enjo-kosai). In 2001, the same trend still holds, with women’s interest in net romance rising steadily. A 2002 survey reveals that almost 30% net users have had “real-life” sex with their internet acquaintances. Those who approve one-night stands have also risen to 46%. In the meantime, new forms of intimate relationships, such as net marriages, are also developing. It is estimated that in Taiwan alone,  50,000 net citizens have established some sort of net marriages, helped especially by role-playing internet games that provide the marriage function. Mainland China is reported to have more than 100,000 net couples who have registered their net marriages with various websites (source: China Times  2002-10-14). As internet liaisons are increasingly used to compensate for the restrictions and repressions of erotic life in the real world, a new sex revolution is obviously in the air.

Source:

Cyber Sex: Sexuality, Youth, and Cyber Space
Josephine Ho
Center for the Study of Sexualities
National Central University
Chungli, Taiwan 320
sex@ncu.edu.tw
http://sex.ncu.edu.tw

SHAFT SLEEVES (THE RIGATONIS)

Rigatoni

Probably one of the most versatile and useful toys you can have in your toy chest is the rigatoni. This is a long, 11/2 inch tubular sleeve made of a transparent silicone light rubber, with tiny, soft nubbles on the surface. It is available in boxed sets of two or six, all of which have a different texture on the surface. Most men and women are surprised that a shaft sleeve feels so soft.

It's also easy to carry in a cosmetic case or shaving kit. With a judicious, not-too-much, not-too-little amount of water based lubricant (oil will start to break the product down) they can be used by the:

1. Woman on her partner. Slip one like a finger sleeve over one or two fingers. Some people report using two sleeves, covering different fingers. Apply a light amount of lubricant and use your imagination with any of your favorite hand techniques.

2. Man on his partner, either manually or during intercourse.

• Manually: A boon to men. Instead of relying solely on their fingertips to stimulate their partner's clitoral area, men have help in the form of these soft, textured sleeves. Just try one on the palm of your hand. Be sure to put the lubricant on or you won't get the real sensation. Men have reported using two at a time so they can caress and pleasure both sides of the inner labia and clitoral ridge.

• Intercourse: Worn at the base of the penis during deep, slow, penetrative sex. The soft ripples and ridges are able to stimulate the lady. This works for both female-superior and male-superior positions.

3. Solo. Perhaps trying sleeves out during masturbation is the best way to discover the sensations possible with the different textures.

4. On a vibrator. Slipped on a wand vibrator to give a different texture. Care instructions: a little soap and water and they are ready for the next time.

HIS PEARL NECKLACE (THE ACCESSORIZED "LA COIFFEUSE")

The beauty of giving your lover a pearl necklace is the element of surprise.

I recommend a 30"-36" strand of 8-10 mm round pearls. It's best to avoid baroque and freshwater bead styles as the irregular shapes aren't conducive to smooth movement, and they could scratch.

Your pearls need to be of good quality, whether or not they are real or imitation. The better the pearls, the better the sensation. Lesser quality pearls won't have a solid enough bead under the pearlizing to adequately pick up your body heat. In this case, heat is a good thing.

Know that you will be using lubricant with the pearls so if your choice is the family heirloom strand make sure you ensure their longevity by having them restrung on nylon versus sill., which is probably what they are strung on now. Silk is hydrophilic and absorbs moisture, which can rot the natural pearl from the inside out not the kind of thing to explain to future generations. Nylon is a synthetic fiber that doesn't absorb water.

How does one explain the need for restringing? Simple: they are old and need it, or you are a very active woman and you wear your pearls almost constantly, including working out and you've heard that nylon is more durable.

Imagine this scenario: dress very slowly for an evening out. Accessorize with a strand of pearls. During dinner, lightly finger or play with your pearls. When you return home, disrobe, and remove all but your pearls.

Step 1. Begin however you like, perhaps with kissing. When you feel ready, undo your pearls and drag them across your lover's body.

Step 2. Lightly lubricate his penis, then slowly adorn him with your pearls, wrapping the strand around his shaft. Be sure to hold the necklace clasp with one finger as you don't want it to scratch and distract him. Because you've worn them out for dinner the pearls will be softly warm.

Step 3. When his penis looks like it is wearing a Princess Diana choker, start slowly stroking him with a Basket Weaving stroke up and down with a twist. 

Step 4. Then unwrap his penis and, as if you are flossing under his testicles, slowly pull the pearls from one side to the other, slightly lifting his testicles.

Step 5. When you are done, "coil the poiles" at the base of his shaft and settle yourself on top of him. No doubt pearls will start to have a new place in your heart.

Source:

ORAL SEX TECHNIQUES - Lover's Guide - Lou Paget, How To Be A Great Lover

DILDO OR VIBRATOR - Treasures for the Adult Toy Chest

These very versatile toys have been around for ages. Technically k there is a difference between the two. According to Good Vibrations, dildos are "nonvibrating toys used for insertion the% fill the vagina or rectum, creating a sensation of fullness and pressure that many find highly pleasurable." A vibrator also resembles a penis in shape, but is usually made of a hard plastic material and is battery run. A vibrator's main purpose is to produce vibration wherever the operator wishes it. With the current off, a vibrator can act like a dildo, depending on its shape.

For those who are worried that a vibrator will make you unresponsive to your male partner, do not worry If you are able to orgasm other ways, manually, orally or with water, know that this is just another way—often a faster and more intense way It won't replace your man. Nothing will ever replace men.

Ladies, we know how men have a thing for remote controls, right? Well, there are now vibrators that will allow
him to be in the driver's seat, so to speak, when he operates your vibrator—and obviously, only if you want him to. Men have said these vibrators make them feel more a part of her orgasm, as if he was in charge. After all, isn't everything a matter of perception?

For hygienic reasons, before insertion, both dildos and
vibrators should be dressed with a condom. It also makes
cleanup easier.

Ladies, these things are ancient! The presence of dildos is recorded in ancient Greek, Roman, and Egyptian art; there are also records of French troops giving their wives dildos as masturbatory aids before they marched off to war. In terms of vibrators, according to historian Rachel Maines, these toys were used as early as the 1880s as a medical appliance, "designed to improve the efficiency of medical massage, a task performed since ancient times by physicians, midwives, and their assistants from the time of Hippocrates to that of Freud." Medical and midwifery texts of the 1600s explained that this type of "treatment generally consisted of the insertion of one or more fingers into the vagina and the application of friction to the external genitalia with the other. . . . The objective was to induce hysterical paroxysm, manifested by rapid respiration and pulse, reddening of the skin, vaginal lubrication, and abdominal contractions."

By 1900, "a wide range of vibratory apparatus was available to physicians. Articles and textbooks on vibratory massage technique at the turn of the century praised the machines' versatility for the treatment of nearly all diseases in both sexes, and its [sic] efficiency of time and labor, especially in gynecological massage." Until the late 1920s, vibrators were advertised in women's magazines as home appliances, primarily as an aid to good health and relaxation but with ambiguous overtones, as one advertisement promised, "All the pleasures of youth will throb within you." Maines believes that vibrators fell into disrepute when they started being used for psychotherapeutic treatments and/or when they began appearing in the stag films of the 1920s where their obvious sexual use could not be overlooked. So there is a possibility your grandmama may have been more progressive sexually than you first thought.

Choosing a Dildo That's Right for You
As we head into the twenty-first century there is a style and type of dildo and vibrator to suit every person. Some are completely lifelike, having been molded from real people, often porn stars. Others are disguised creatively. The reason? In Texas, dildos are considered an obscene device, which is defined in their penal code as "any object designed and marketed as useful primarily for the stimulation of human genital organs." So sex shops sell them as "condompracticing devices." According to one manufacturer of unique shapes, "Most of the unusual dildos sell okay in the Bible belt, because regular dildos aren't legal there, but the people want something they can use, and they like my cacti especially" Who knew? Most importantly, choose a style that suits you. You have your choice of:

Size:

• Sizes range from very small to full arm size. The larger are admittedly for a specialized "niche" market.

Material:
• Plastic, silicone, metal, rubber, vinyl, Jelee (trade name for a soft, clear, often colored plastic)

 Shape:

• Straight, curved, lifelike, ridged, smooth, egg, telescoping, and a special design suitable for Gspot/prostate stimulation

• With or without "balls" • Double dildos for simultaneous penetration for the two partners

Vibrating Features:

• With vibrating dildos, typically the vibrating part will be aligned to stimulate the clitoris while the shaft portion is inserted vaginally. Meanwhile, the shaft portion can be doing something nifty, such as rotating, twisting at the head, or pulsing in and out at the same time the clitoris is being stimulated.

• Power source from battery or electricity.

 

Color:
• Any color you like: black, brown, pink, flesh, clear, purple, white, solids, stripes, sparkles--the list is quite
endless

Harnesses:
• Dildos can be used "freestyle" in your hand, or attached to a harness, which is made of leather or fabric and worn around your hips.

• Thigh harnesses can be used by either sex when you want full body contact. One seminar attendee told of how her husband, who is paraplegic, fulfilled her beyond her wildest dreams. "He was finally able to penetrate me--I didn't think it was possible." You never know when these toys will work their magic. 

How to Use Them:
• Breathe. In any sexual act, breathing is your friend and deep breathing will heighten the sensations. Apply  to clitoris. Using a vibrator, have your partner stimulate your clitoris—this will add a significant buzz to partner sex. You can cushion the vibration through a garment or the fleshy outer labia. Often women find direct clitoral stimulation too intense until they are more excited. Use a range of stroking motions up and down the clitoral ridge.

• Insert vaginally. Insert either a dildo or vibrator in the vagina; the first 11/2 inches are the most sensitive.

• Anally. For those ladies and their men who enjoy anal play, a small butt plug dildo or a vibrating dildo will send you heavenward. Men who enjoy this typically choose a slim little wand style that can be inserted while he's masturbating or while you are manually stimulating him.

• In combination. Use a dildo on yourself or with a partner. This can be accomplished by wearing a harnessed dildo. Depending on design a female wearer may have a vaginal plug dildo in the harness for herself while the "front loaded" dildo is available to penetrate their partner. This way everyone can have the
feeling of fullness.