BREAKING HABITS

Personal growth can be accelerated simply by changing one's habits. It is the condition of dependency inherent in habits that must be broken. When you find yourself saying or thinking, "But I can't change that.. .I always do that," then that is undoubtedly the first habit to break. Freedom of choice results from mastering habit. Independence from habits in the area of sexuality should be cultivated, as sexual habits are the most restrictive. Any intentional act of will has a magical potency and is far more effective than a habitual or unintentional act. The human body is capable of quite extraordinary adaptation, even when it seems set in a  rigid pattern. The potential for change is always there, but it is better not to wait for a moment of crisis before ridding ourselves of habits. Our very survival as a species is due to our ability to change and adapt.

Mental habits are more difficult to deal with than physical ones, as they are less obvious. Often enough, they are inherited from parents or acquired through social conditioning. They restrict our whole way of life,  insidiously providing a false sense of security. By causing us to forget our Higher Selves, they obliterate our awareness and are fatal to an intimate relationship. Frequently, an unawareness of disagreeable habits or idiosyncrasies is a source of contention between people. Yet often, all that's needed to overcome this obstacle is the willingness, on the part of both people, to change, grow, and evolve. When the initial fear of change is overcome, one can really begin to enjoy new experiences. Sexual habits are especially limiting and it is here that Tantra requires absolute adaptability. All Eastern teachings on the sexual mysteries point to the need for variety and uninhibited spontaneity.

 

"Love resulting from the constant and continual performance of some act is called
love acquired by habit."
-KAMA SUTRA-

OVARIES STRENGTHENING TONIC

POTION:

1 cup whiskey

1 cup honey

1 cup lemon juice

Stir the mixture well until the honey dissolve. Store the mixture in a previously sterilized jar. Shake the jar well before each use. Drink one to tablespoons daily.

CAUTION:

If you are experiencing a very heavy menstrual flow, refrain from taking the mixture for a few days until you have normalized. This recipe will last several months, and the more it ages, the better it becomes. Store it in a coll dry place.

Source: Healing Love Through Tao, Cultivating Female Sexual Energy

MANTAK CHIA

THE BIOLOGY OF AROUSAL

Desire. Arousal. Plateau. Orgasm. Resolution. We feel what’s happening during sex, but many of us don’t know the mechanics of our sexual response. Understanding how arousal works can help our sex lives become  more creative, satisfying, and passionate beyond measure.

DESIRE We know how powerful feelings of physical attraction can be, but where do these feelings come from and what is their role in our lives? Desire occurs when we see something that sexually excites us. Perhaps it’s a tall stranger on the bus, or a woman with an exceptionally curvaceous figure. Maybe it’s a specific  perfume that triggers a sensual memory. For both men and women, desire is inspired by a mixture of our emotions, our history, and our personal preferences.

Desire is the inception of our sexual energy. It may inspire arousal or, as often happens, arousal may inspire desire. The term arousal can also refer to awakening, such as being roused from sleep, and the same is true for sexual arousal: your sexual potential might be sound asleep, only to be awakened by an attractive man or woman passing by. The arousal/desire process might end there. Or, if circumstances allow and it’s deemed appropriate once passed through your moral and emotional filters, you might act on that desire and continue the arousal process through the other stages of sexual response.

The pattern of arousal and sexual response works differently in men and women. Knowing how sexual excitement works will help you understand your partner’s sexual responses. WOMEN The ability to experience multiple climaxes is unique to women. Sometimes women linger in the plateau phase and are able to enjoy a double or multiple orgasm, as seen in the pink line above. Sometimes there is a quicker climb toward a single orgasm, as in the green line; and at other times, women experience a lengthy plateau period that does not end in climax (the blue line). MEN The cycle for men is more straightforward, with a steady climb toward plateau and a sharp peak at climax, followed by resolution.

AROUSAL In the midst of sexual arousal, we are receptive and present, in tune with our senses, and open to pleasure and connection. Duringthis stage, we undergo numerous physical changes. Our heart rate quickens, cheeks flush, and pupils dilate. (In ancient times, women used to attempt to mimic this effect by putting drops of belladonna in their eyes—not recommended, as belladonna is toxic! The point, however, is that signs of arousal can be attractive to your partner.) Also during the arousal stage, a woman’s nipples perk up and circulation to  the genitals increases. If the arousal continues, a man’s penis will become erect, and women will experience genital changes as well. The clitoris will swell, as will the labia, and the vaginal opening will enlarge slightly in preparation for intercourse.

AROUSAL and HORMONES Part of the beauty of sexual response is that your entire body responds to arousal like an orchestra, with each instrument chiming in at its appointed time. All of these changes, no matter how minor, play a role in your sexual response and sexual pleasure, and they occur thanks to your hormones. Your hormones control everything from your appetite to your sleep habits, your mood, and your sexual experiences. The two hormones that primarily impact your sex drive are well-known: testosterone and estrogen.

TESTOSTERONE Testosterone is mostly produced by the sex organs, although it can also occur in the adrenal glands. In men, testosterone is primarily produced in the testes; in women, the ovaries are largely responsible for this job. Testosterone helps to produce body and facial hair, stimulates the growth of sex organs, and helps with muscle and bone growth. It also plays a significant role in determining genital and nipple sensation, as well as general sexual desire. On average, the male body produces 10 times more testosterone than the female body, but it is still a crucial hormone for women.

ESTROGEN Again, both men and women have this hormone, although women have vastly larger amounts. The majority of estrogen in the female body is produced by the ovaries; in men, estrogen is produced in the testes. This hormone regulates the female menstrual cycle and also helps prepare her body for pregnancy. Low levels of estrogen (which occur most notably during perimenopause and menopause) can have a wide range of side effects including vaginal dryness, hot flashes, irritability, and reduced sexual response.

PLATEAU This is the stage where arousal is high and orgasm is imminent. During the plateau stage, we enjoy the rush of passion at our partner’s touch, but haven’t yet reached the stage of orgasmic bliss. If you want sex to last longer, this is the place where you should slow down and try to maintain your arousal level while delaying orgasm. If you want to master the art of multiple orgasms, this is the stage where you should try to linger after orgasm.  

ORGASM Orgasm is the intimate climax of our sexual experience. We all experience it differently, but by definition an orgasm is a contraction in the genitals that causes feelings of pleasure and release. Sometimes the contraction is intense and sometimes it is only a whisper.

RESOLUTION During the resolution stage, we experience feelings of calm, peace, emotional euphoria, and even fatigue. Sometimes an orgasm can be as powerful as a sleeping pill, but whenever possible, use this time to bond with your partner and create deep intimacy.

PEARLY GATES

Some men enjoy having a woman cradle the shaft with one hand and gently nibble up the length of the penis, as if she were , eating corn on the cob. One woman said her boyfriend asked her to nibble, bite, and pull, gently with her teeth on the skin of the frenulum (the "V" shaped zone near the head of his penis) just before he came. Initially, when he would tell her to "bite harder," she would worry, then she realized she wasn't hurting him. Another move that involves your teeth is to gently comb over the head of the penis. 

Strumming the Frenulum.

Here's where you use the back of your tongue, that really smooth area with the nifty ridge in the middle of it, on his frenulum. The sensation is very different from when you use the top of your tongue, or the pointy edges. To get into the proper position:

• Hold the end of his penis under your nose, keeping your chin in contact with the shaft to stabilize the stroke.

• Gently use your supporting hand, which is holding the shaft, to flex the head of the penis away so you have enough room for a nice full tongue stroke, about one half inch.

• Stroke rapidly crossways across his frenulum with the soft, hot underside of your tongue.

• As a bonus, use your hand to do a half Pirouette stroke on the shaft.

LOOK HIM IN THE EYE
Another secret to incredible oral sex is to make eye contact with him from time to time, provided there is enough light to do so. After all, ladies, you're not there alone. By looking up at your lover occasionally, you're allowing him to see the pleasure you derive out of pleasing him. This is also another way of letting him know that you are not only enjoying what you're doing (which will completely turn him on) but that you are in total control, which will make him relax and feel safe.

THE GREATEST GIFT:
PUTTING IT ALL TOGETHER

If you put the steps together, it should look like this:

1. Use your hands to form The Seal and The Ring. 

2. Move your mouth up and down the length of his shaft, while maintaining a comfortable level of suction. Meanwhile, use the hand attached to your mouth for the up and down motion and twisting.

3. Keep your tongue in constant motion, moving occasionally to Tongue Magic and The Big W 

4. Don't forget to Mind the Stepchildren, whether you do so with your hands or mouth.

5. Let your free hand roam the rest of his body

6. Look him in the eye.

FRUIT IN A BASKET (ideal for soft, semierect, or fully erect penis)

Those of you who think this technique may be only for well endowed women—ladies, it is not so.

Step 1. Position yourself so that your breasts act as a shelf for his testicles. You can create this by scooping one forearm underneath both breasts, or placing one hand underneath each breast and holding them up. Position yourself underneath his testicles. The best position is when he is seated on a chair, edge of the bed, or couch and you are seated on the floor below. That way you both are in comfortable positions and have a wide range of motion options.

Step 2. If you wish, apply lubricant generously to your breasts.

Step 3. With an upward arching motion of your body (as if you were a serpent), lift the testicles as if scooping fruit into a basket. Allow them to pass through the channel of your breasts, stroke the glans while cradling the shaft between your breasts, and continue up the shaft.  

Step 4. As you return to the original position in step 1, you can gently drag your chin and then your mouth down his tummy and pass over the shaft and testicles to give him an idea of what might be next. While coming down, you can use your hot breath to accentuate the feeling.

Step 5. Repeat as requested.

HAND JOB TECHNIQUES - TOGETHERNESS (ideal for soft, semierect, or fully erect penis)

This technique accentuates your awareness of the degree of pressure and the style of stroking your partner prefers. The best position for him is sitting up so he can reach your hands more easily.

Step 1. Apply lubricant generously to both your and your lover's hands.

Step 2. Position your hands one on either side of the shaft of his penis. Have the little finger side of your hands on his tummy, palms facing one another, penis held in between. If he is erect, position him in an upright stance; if he's not yet erect, scoop his penis gently up into what will be his upright position.

Step 3. Ask him to place his hands on the outside of yours and guide the motion of your hands. Up and down, twisting, one hand, two? Notice how he moves your hands.

Step 4. Take turns creating different motions and ask which is best. This will help you discover together which technique produces the best results.

Step 5. Continue as you please.

HAND JOB TECHNIQUES - COIFFEUSE (ideal for soft, semierect, or fully erect penis)

This technique was discovered quite by accident by a woman with long hair. It got caught on her husband's penis as she was changing positions. Much to her surprise, he loved it and the rest is history. You can use your own long hair, buy a wig, or use a velvety or silky scarf. DO NOT use lubricant for this one, unless you wish to end up with helmet head hair or a gooped up scarf.

Step 1. Position your partner so he can watch what you are doing. The best position is to sit up, facing each other. If you're in bed, place pillows behind him to prop him up. Standing up usually doesn't allow him to be relaxed enough to concentrate on the sensations. He's too busy trying to stand or hang on.

Step 2. Wrap or twirl a large chunk of your hair or a scarf around his shaft. If his penis is not erect at this point, chances are it wifl be soon.

Step 3. Use a gentle up-and-down twisting motion. Imagine using one hand from Basket Weaving, with your  hair underneath creating a new movable texture. To see how this would feel on him, try the texture sensation on  yourself. Wrap a chunk of your hair around two or three of your fingers, pretending they are his penis. See the  difference? You can also use your hair or a scarf like His Pearl Necklace. Pull or stroke under the testicles, lifting gently.

FYI: Be careful about knotting silk scarves as often the knots become so tight you can't undo them and you'll  ruin the scarf.

HAND JOB TECHNIQUES - BATTER-UP (ideal for soft, semierect, or fully erect penis)

This is another version of The Taffy-Pull. Some women report that alternating Taffy-Pull with Batter-Up has led to rave reviews from their partners.

Step 1. Apply lubricant generously to both hands.

Step 2. Cup one hand in a large "U" starting under the testicles.

Step 3. With an open hand, stroke upwards over the testicles. They will lift up with your stroke. As your hand continues up the shaft, the testicles will gently drop back to their normal position under the shaft.

Step 4. Gently slide your fingers away from the base toward the head in upward strokes, moving your hand only to the top of the shaft. Keep your fingers in contact with his penis on the way back down. Again, it's  important to remember to constantly keep your hand in full contact with the penis, as any break in your touch  will be distracting to him.

Step 5. At the same time you are stroking upward with one hand, gently stroke his inner thighs and his testicles  with your free hand.

HAND JOB TECHNIQUES - TAFFY-PULL (ideal for soft, semierect, or fully erect penis)

Some men prefer this elongating stroke of your hand on his penis, rather than using the strong, compacting, downward stroke of most hand techniques. A male sex therapist in the gentleman's seminar told me this is a stroke that men often use to get themselves erect when masturbating.

Step 1. Apply lubricant generously to both hands.

Step 2. Clasp the base of his penis in an inverted "okay" sign. Your thumb and finger will be on his tummy, and you will be looking at the back of your hand.

Step 3. Close your fingers, creating a warm soft tube—that impostor vagina. (Your free hand will be discussed in steps 5 and 6.)

Step 4. Gently slide your fingers away from the base toward the head in upward strokes, moving your hand only to the top of the shaft, not over the head of his penis. Keep your fingers in contact with his penis on the way back down. Remember, it is important to constantly keep one of your hands in contact with his penis. as any break in your touch will be distracting to him. The stroke can be either parallel to his tummy or in vertical motion.

Step 5. At the same time you are stroking upward with one hand, your free hand could be gently scratching his inner thighs and his testicles (at no other time will your good manicure be more appreciated). Many men  love having their testicles softly scratched and stretched away from their bodies.

Step 6. To further build sensation throughout his entire pelvic area, with your free hand, clasp your thumb  against the palm of the hand and use the index finger edge of your free hand like a squeegee stroke going firmly from his belly button towards the base of his penis. I got this idea from men who told me they stroke themselves in this manner with the ends of the fingers of their free hand while masturbating to increase the sensation.

HAND JOB TECHNIQUES - BASKET WEAVING, OR THE BASKET WEAVE (requires a semierect to fully erect penis)

This particular move was inspired by a woman who suffers from multiple sclerosis. On account of her wrist tiring easily, she needed to use two hands for support. "After the seminar, I went home and did the Basket Weave on him. It was like magic."

Step 1. Apply your lubricant of choice generously to both hands.

Step 2. Clasp your hands together, interlacing fingers.

Step 3. Relax thumbs in order to make a hole.

Step 4. Lower your clasped hands onto his penis. The fit should be snug, much like a tight vagina. In essence, you are creating an impostor vagina.

Step 5. Move your clasped hands up and down the shaft, continuing the firm and gentle hold.

Step 6. Twist your clasped hands slowly as they go up and down the shaft, much like the movement inside a  washing machine. Use one long twist per shaft length. This isn't a quick swishing back and forth.

PUTTING A CONDOM USING "ITALIAN METHOD"

Ladies, when using The Italian Method, please remove any lipstick or lip gloss, as its oils will break down a latex condom and make it ineffective as protection.

But first, in order to proceed, you need to be able to do two things: 1) put your mouth in a flute position (like a baby kissing), and 2) cover your teeth with your lips and open your mouth.

HOW TO PERFORM
THE ITALIAN METHOD
There are six steps involved in The Italian Method,
none of which can be forgotten or discarded:

Step 1. Lube your lips with a clear, water-based lubricant (while colored lubricant won't harm you, it may leave you looking like Bozo the Clown). You can either apply the lube to your lips yourself or have him do it for you.

Step 2. A package of three condoms should be plenty. Don't buy a slew—guys will make assumptions. Then, remove a condom from its package and place it in position to be unrolled. If you hold the nipple between your thumb and forefinger and it resembles the shape of a sombrero hat, held by its top, it is in the right position to  be unrolled correctly. If the edges of the sombrero are flipped under, you will not be able to unroll it down the shaft.

Step 3. Once you have the condom in the correct position, invert it so that it looks like a mini upside down sombrero. Place a dollopTPF FPT of water-based lubricant only in the receptacle (nipple) end of the latex condom, as if you were putting it in the finger of a latex glove. The lubricant here has two functions: it will allow the condom to slip gently over the most sensitive part of his penis (the head) preventing that stuck-to-the-top feeling men complain about so often. In addition, it will give the condom more range of motion during sexual activity, which translates into more sensation for him.

Note: Steps 4, 5, and 6 must be dons quickly so that the lubricant doesn't run out over the shaft of the penis.

Step 4. Position your lips as if you were going to give someone a kiss, but with your lips not touching. You'll sort of resemble a choirboy for a minute, but that look is a fleeting one. Put the condom in your mouth,  lubricated side toward him, and use a little suction to hold it in place. The rim of the sombrero will be outside your puckered lips, not inside.

Step 5. Hold the shaft of his penis in one hand and move your mouth to the top of the head of his penis. If  you move too slowly, all the lubricant will drip out. Releasing the suction only slightly, allow the condom to rest on the head of the penis while you push it down gently with your tongue, removing any air bubbles.

Step 6. Staying in this position, quickly wrap your well lubricated lips over your teeth and push gently but firmly in one smooth motion on the rim of the condom to unravel it down the shaft. The only way this will work is if your lips are wrapped firmly over your teeth. If they aren't, not only will you risk hurting him, you won't have the strength to push the condom down quickly. Your lips need the support of your teeth behind them in order for this technique to be effective. If you are unable to push the condom all the way down with your lips, don't worry about it. Very few woman can, at first. Go as far down as you are comfortable,  finishing the job with your fingers in the shape of an "okay" sign to unroll the rest. Some women have said the sensation of coolness from the lube in the nipple end of the condom causes them to gag if they go down the shaft too far. If this should happen to you, you can complete the roll with your fingers in the shape of the "okay" sign. 

FIXING A NAIL

FIXING A NAIL

“This is learned by practice only,” says the Kama Sutra. the challenge for the woman is to raise her leg and rest her heel on her lover’s forehead, and then to hold the position throughout sex. for both the challenge for the man is to make his movements precise and controlled so that her foot can actually stay in place. it is possible to teeter on the brink of orgasm for a long time. And it is ideal for women who enjoy slow, prolonged stimulation.

Ultimately, if you need some more dynamic movements to push you both over the edge, it is easy to slip back into the missionary position. then he can move freely and she can push her pelvis up to maximize the clitoral friction she receives.

It’s steamy because ... although it might sound restrictive, the precision of movement this position demands makes it a wonderful turn on. You are both mentally in synch. As a result you are able to build up your  arousal levels slowly, which makes it possible to teeter on the brink of orgasm for a tantalizingly long time.

WIFE OF INDRA

This incredibly steamy sex position was named in honor of Indrani, the wife of the Hindu god Indra. to get into this position, the woman needs to draw her knees tightly to her chest and raise her buttocks off the floor. the man, kneeling upright, catches her body and pulls her tight against him. the woman nestles her feet against her  lover’s stomach or chest as he enters her. For him the man moves softly at first and then, as his passion rises, becomes brisker and more vigorous. In this position he is able to penetrate deeply. For her Because her vagina  is contracted, his penis will fill her completely, leading to more satisfying sensations.

WIFE OF INDRA

It’s steamy because ... her body is bent into a tight, compact shape that makes her feel deliciously exposed  and sexy. and he gets the visual stimulation of seeing all the action as he smoothly moves in and out. Communication through eye contact means sensations are magnified for him and her on an emotional level.

“I walk my feet up from his belly to his chest and then press his
nipples with my toes. That’s my sign for him to enter me
deeply, and when he does it always makes me gasp.”

TWINING OF THE CREEPER & OTHER EROTIC EMBRACE

One of the secrets of sensational sex is to use foreplay techniques that drive your lust incredibly high. This way, at the moment of penetration, both of you are burning with desire. A very sexy foreplay technique is to twine your bodies around each other in intimate and seductive embraces. The Kama Sutra offers a number of embraces, depending on the mood you are in.

Twining of the Creeper to experience the full impact of this standing embrace, do it when you are both naked and can enjoy the closeness of your bodies. she wraps her arms around his waist in a tender embrace, while twining her leg around his thigh in a posture that is said to be like a “vine twisting round a great dammar tree". she then puts one hand behind his neck, gazes lovingly at him, and bends his face toward hers for a kiss.

Twining of the Creeper

The Grinding Embrace try this explosive move when you are both still dressed, and for a frisson of naughtiness, do it in a public place. Go up to your lover, slide your hands around their waist, and pull their hips toward you. Now press your pelvises tightly together and grind against each other for, as the Kama  Sutra delicately puts it, “not too brief a time.” You need not exchange any words—the action is enough to express your sudden sexual urge to each other.

For a slight variation, press your lover against a wall before making this move. the wall acts as a buttress so  you can grind more vigorously. Vatsyayana calls this the Pressing Embrace.

Milk and Water Lovers are advised to try this embrace when they are already naked and highly aroused, since it is an embrace that can easily graduate into a sex position. He sits on a chair or on the edge of a bed as she stands astride him and sits down slowly on his lap. then she wraps her arms and legs around his body and presses herself to him, crushing her breasts against his chest. Now “embrace as if you would enter one another,” says the Kama Sutra, and feel the heat of each other’s bodies.

Rice and Sesame Imagine the difficulty of separating a mixture of rice grains and sesame seeds. This is the intensely close connection that Vatsyayana pictured for moments of peak desire. Try Rice and Sesame when you are “blind with passion”. There are no strict rules for this. You simply fall onto the bed together, wrap your arms and legs around each other’s bodies, then writhe and roll enjoying the feeling of complete rapture. This embrace also happens to be ideal when you are both in a playful mood and want to fool around before making love.

SECRET:

Make her fizz...

The Kama Sutra recommends a move called “embrace of the Thighs.” Men can try this on their lover while standing up (either dressed or naked). press her against a wall and give her a slow and sensual kiss. As you sense her becoming more aroused, slip your thigh between hers and apply gentle pressure. As her passion mounts, push your thigh more tightly against her while clasping her buttocks and pulling her toward you. not only will she revel in being dominated, but she will also find the clitoral pressure electrifying.

THE STALLION AND THE DEER - Enhancing your Sexual Fit

"The Kama Sutra says that sexual fit (having compatible genital sizes) is one of the keys to sexual satisfaction. Vatsyayana describes men as stallions, bulls, or hares—in descending order of penis size. Women, meanwhile, are described as elephants, mares, or deers, depending on vaginal depth. According to the Kama Sutra, good genital compatibility leads to the “highest union.”

The perfect fit the best sexual unions, in Vatsyayana’s opinion, are between men and women with genital sizes that complement one another: a stallion and an elephant, a bull and a mare, or a hare and a deer. and the least satisfying couplings are between a well-endowed man and a tiny woman (a stallion and a deer) or a man with a small penis and a woman with a large vagina (a hare and an elephant). Fortunately, if you do not happen to be the perfect fit, the Kama Sutra suggests some enhancement techniques.

Stallions and deers there are many positions that accommodate his penis length so that you both enjoy maximum pleasure. try any position in which his penis has to reach further than usual, such as side-by-side Clasping, or a position in which he stays still and she makes the moves, such as splitting of a Bamboo . most woman-on-top positions (see opposite) are also great for deer women because she is in control. she can hover on the tip of his penis and then descend to the depth she wants to. If you  both love penetration from behind, but it makes her feel stretched, she can lie on her stomach with her legs slightly parted. He enters slowly, but his movement is controlled by how far she chooses to open her legs.

Woman on Top (Reversed)

Splitting of a Bamboo

Clasping Position

Fitting foreplay most sex positions are possible between a stallion and a deer, but you may need to start slowly with lots of foreplay in which she gets extremely wet and aroused. men: give your lover oral sex, or take her to near climax with your fingers just before you make love. Women: massage his penis with lots of lubricant before sex—it will help him to slip smoothly inside you. 

SECRET:

Extreme Arousal

This is a sexy secret for men: if you want to catch her at her tightest,
penetrate her when she is at a near-orgasmic level of arousal (or
even just after she has climaxed from oral or manual sex).

This works well for a very simple reason: when she is reaching a peak
of excitement, she experiences a rush of blood to her genitals. as a
result, the lower part of the vagina becomes so engorged with blood
that it constricts and naturally hugs the penis tighter than normal.

She will also experience some very enjoyable sensations from the
friction created by such a snug fit. It will prolong her state of bliss and
may even lead to multiple orgasms.


SOURCE: Sex Secrets of the Kama Sutra & Other Eastern Pleasures